I blame my brain. My stupid, active sense of logic. My ability to weigh pros and cons. Not to mention rationality! Damn you all for being the reason that I'm going to be chilling in Trinidad this weekend instead of "wukking up" in sweet sweet Barbados!

I'm sure my fellow Carnival addicts already know that Crop Over reaches its climax this weekend, having started at the end of June. For the less addicted ... wake up and smell the Chefette's! Crop Over has to be one of the best carnival celebrations in the Caribbean. Don't go expecting the same frantic pace and free-for-all, 'anything goes' vibe that characterizes Trinidad Carnival though. This is a groovy kind of love (big up to Phil Collins ... actually, big up to Toni Wine and Carol Bayer Sager - the song's originators -now you know, lol). But back to the topic, this is the ultimate mellow vibe: beautiful people, pulsating rhythms, awesome parties and the opportunity to jump into some of the clearest, most gorgeous salt water at the end of a fantabulous parade route ... while still in your costume (maybe that's just me though)!

Considering these uncertain financial times, a lack of vacation days, the fact that my accommodation wasn't sure if she'd make it back home this year and even my dear PM's belt-tightening advice, I made up my mind in June to sit Crop Over out this year. And I was fine with this decision until my Bajan friend informed me that she's be there after all ... all of a sudden the trip got cheaper (and more fun!) but no ... it would be cheaper still for me to stay at home. I was still fine with the decision until another friend started messaging from DC to let me know he had expected me to be part of the crew. I was even fine when the Bajan bands started launching (unlike Trinidad, they still wait until a couple months before Kadooment to launch).

I became UNFINE (word boy!) when I realized I'd have Monday August 3rd and Tuesday August 4th off from work. Worse when I was informed that party tickets were being held for me 'just in case'. Worst when people stopped off for an overnight visit to Trinidad ... on their way to Barbados. And the suffering became an almost physical pain when someone told me to turn on the radio to 96.7 NOW and what did I hear ... CROPOVER MUSIC!!!!! Put me out of my misery please!!!! Anyone of my friends can vouch for the fact that music triggers an uncontrollable reaction in me ... Must. Wine. NOW.

Do you know what I've been doing since Monday? Patrolling air travel sites to see if I can scoop up a ticket that someone let slip through their fingers. I called BWEE today (yeah I know it's now Caribbean Airlines but who really calls them that?) and had a heart-pounding moment when I was told that there was a flight available ... just one! ... from Sunday to Wednesday. "Should I go ahead and book that for you? Ye ... wait, you never told me the price ... Oh, it's going to be $3880. after tax" ... screeeeeeeecccccchhhhhhhh .... BANG! (that was the sound of reality hitting ... HARD!)

My plan was to drown my sorrows in some sweet Tobago sand and sea therapy, but guess what ... it's GREAT FETE weekend. Know what that means? A plethora of parties,busy beaches, tons of teeny boppers, and the best part? NOT A PLANE or BOAT TICKET to be had!

Don't look for me this weekend. Not to rain on your parade (well actually, if you're going to Bimshire aka Barbados then I kind of really want it to) I've already started doing my rain dance in desperate hope that the weather will give me a valid reason to feel good about spending the next few days in bed!

SIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH