I remember the excitement and drama of playing Kiddies Carnival - Sunshine Snacks, Red Cross, St. James, Tunapuna, Arima - one costume but a full month to make mas. Burning sun blazing down on yuh head, ensuring that yuh either end up at least two shades darker or else flat-out "bun". But yuh didn't care, because heat stroke wasn't in yuh vocabulary plus you had the most fantabulous costume in the history of the world and the unflagging wine, jump and wave energy that only comes with youth.

I remember the copious amounts of glitter that you wanted applied to the tune of "oh gosh mummy, just a little more... and more... and more", till even a lit-up Christmas tree didn't want nothing wid you when the sun hit yuh so. I also remember the frustration of trying to get all that glitter off of yuh skin afterwards - it was cold cream, baby oil, even witch hazel, because soap and water was just rearranging the glitter into all sorts of new designs. Yuh going to church and school in the days after with random pieces of glitter still shining all over your body.

 

I remember the feeling of "here every creed and race find an equal place" because Kiddies Carnival was a rainbow of costume and skin colours.  I don't think I even knew what 'race' or 'ethnicity' was then, just that some of the children got better tans than others. Every mother was your 'aunty' and every masquerader was your friend and you crossed the various stages together with no care for whether this person was rich or poor, black, white, chinese or indian, Trinidadian or Australian.

 

I remember at the age of 13 thinking that I was too old to play "Kiddies Carnival" anymore, and begging until I was finally told that I could go to J'Ouvert - under parental supervision. And still that wasn't enough to prevent me from jamming on every lamp post and street sign that I could find as I abandoned myself to the added freeness that darkness brings to the Carnival winery. 

 

 I remember when a J'Ouvert band's costumes would actually reflect the theme. I remember when J'Ouvert bands actually HAD costumes instead of just T-shirts/vests and some horns. Those were the days when jab-jabs and devils could inspire enough fear in some poor, unsuspecting soul that the person would be only too willing to pay to be left alone. I remember the fresh-water Yankee woman on the corner of Duke and St. Vincent Streets who stood out like a beacon in her crisp white capris and halter top, curly weave upon her head. She was the first person who I  ever saw stand up and refuse to "pay the devil". I wonder how long it took her to get that full bucket of black oil paint out of her hair?

 

 I remember the Midnight Robbers and their threats and challenges. I remember the Bats with their sprawling wings and hideous masks. I remember the Baby Dolls who were not to be confused with the men who enjoyed using J'Ouvert as an excuse to put on a nightie, fake breasts, panties, and walk around with their posies. I remember the Pierrot Grenades. But most of all, I remember the feeling that J'Ouvert was a unifier. 

 

I remember playing "adult mas" for the first time, and in quintessential Convent girl fashion, Harts was my band of choice. I remember going to the mas camp with seven of my friends and bouncing up at least another 30 Convent girls there. And for the record, this was in November before this madness about band launches in June and July began. I remember being horrified that my costume was going to cost $500 (ROFLMAO now), coercing mummy into paying for half of the costume and using my Christmas money to pay for the other half.

I remember having the time of my life: no drinks truck, no all-inclusive, no monday costume, no ropes,  just me, the music, my first and last black costume (ever!), and that was enough. Props to the small man with the wheel-barrow full of $1 water bottles who was smart enough to chip alongside the band on both days. I remember wining on everybody and everything in my path, man, woman, child and inanimate object, friends, family and strangers alike. I remember getting a reputation as a winer girl as a result.

 

I remember the first and worst sunburn of my life!!!! A black costume WITH a cape is NEVER a good idea! No matter how gorgeous it may look. I remember being skinny enough to not have to run to the gym for months before to ensure that my stomach would look flat in my costume... being skinny enough to fit into the skimpiest costume but modest enough to not even consider it.

 

I remember playing in Poison and losing my friends for most of the day because the band was so damn huge. I remember gyrating, oscillating and pulsating the day away anyway, because everybody in Poison was all about the winery too. I remember spotting my friends and running to wine on them and somehow forming a conga wine in the process.

 

I remember playing in Legends, Barbarossa and Masquerade and thinking that Carnival sweet in any band. I remember the strong men of Legends in the smallest thongs and not really knowing what 'gay' was, I just thought that they were rather brave until one of my friends broke it down for me. 

 

I remember when I started taking my god-daughter to play Kiddies Carnival. Forget all the weekends leading up to Carnival, imagine going to a fete Carnival Friday night, reaching home 8 o'clock in the morning, bathing, making up the child and going straight into town. To be followed by Insomnia the Saturday night, reaching home anywhere between 10 and 12 o'clock and once again going back in town. Then dropping her home, going to lime, and then heading out to J'Ouvert. 

 

I remember when I started working I wouldn't sleep from the Wednesday before Carnival until some time Ash Wednesday morning.

 

I remember my parents encouraging me not to play mas in 2002 because I had decided to go abroad to do my undergraduate studies and they thought that I should save my money. I remember realising on Carnival Monday that this was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I remember wearing a pair of shorts and a tube top and a pound and a half of glitter and jumping up alongside my friends in Poison and Harts on Carnival Monday and it just wasn't the same. Carnival Tuesday that year found me up on Maracas Beach because I just couldn't torture myself two days in a row.

 

I remember Carnival 2003, being freezing cold in the US of A and putting on my Carnival costume from 2001 underneath my layers of clothing and going to class ... and then reaching home, stripping down to said costume and jumping throughout the house to a soca CD. I think I was almost in tears that year. I remember for Carnival 2005 being promised a free costume in Poison because one of the sections was being produced at my aunt's annex. I remember finding a cheap ticket to come home only to realise that my midterms were starting on Carnival Monday. Imagine begging a teacher to change an exam date because you NEED to come home and play yuhself but the teacher doh even know what that means! Maybe I should've lied and faked someone's death but what can I say, I was young.

 

 I remember getting a trip home and a costume as an early graduation present in 2006. Thanks from here to eternity M.R.! I remember being stunned by the price of costumes, not getting into the section I wanted, being set up by several friends who registered and then backed out at the last minute, and still managing to unleash the Carnival beast that lives inside of me. Island People that year was proof that in spite of organisational issues, their masqueraders definitely know how to own the road! I remember this as the last year that we crossed the Savannah stage, so is a good thing that I managed to squeeze myself back into every section. Little did I know that this stage experience would have to tide me over until further notice. 

 

I remember 2008 being hot and sweaty and wining and people looking at me like I was crazy as they ran to find shade. I remember wearing boots because they looked good with the costume. They were comfortable, but nothing will ever compare to a pair of decorated Prestos (bring them back Nike!) I remember being amazed by the fact that people were walking with mirrors and makeup and reapplying in the middle of the road. I remember not wanting to stop to eat lunch but not being given a choice.  I remember losing my friends and chipping by myself through crowds of people who were posing in their costumes instead of making a mas. I remember telling myself that this was a learning experience and one that I would not be repeating in 2009 (God spare life).

 So it's 2009 and Carnival has come and gone and I can remember it. I remember LOVING my costume and having a blast with my friends. I remember missing the friends who were in different bands. I remember thinking, "when is everyone going to realize that if enough of us commit to playing with each other rather than buying into the hype surrounding various bands, we can find a cheap band, have a time and a half, and still have money in our pockets AFTER paying for our costumes!"

 

 I miss $40-$80 Carnival fetes. I miss Boy Scouts on a Carnival Sunday night (when it still used to be in Boy Scouts). I miss when Pier 1 Cooler Fete used to be good. I miss the down and dirty J'Ouvert that used to reach all through town, up by the Savannah and down by the Foreshore. I miss Monday Night Mas the way it used to be. I miss playing in random bands and having a ball. I miss being able to jump up in another band and not having to duck security.

 

 I miss the Savannah stage. I MISS the Savannah stage. I MISS THE SAVANNAH STAGE!!!!